From My Number One Fan…

Ivana Poltsky

My dear Mr. Hudspith,

A few weeks’ time ago now my husband bought your Kimi’s Secret to read to our daughter

Doris who suffering in wheelchair with no walking legs. Doris cried and cried at every page,

especially when icky things happen which mean Doris cry lots.

Anyway, this good news. Tompas, that’s Doris little brother who has eating disorder which

leaves him chubby boy, well Tompas no longer eat. Listening to his dear father read

loud including sound special effects of snot and poopoo and vomits make Tompas very sick.

Of course he now loose five stones and is healthy and smiles. And when Doris looked at her

fitter brother she cried with joy and stood from the wheelchair and she now leaps around

the place with Tompas but they knock over budgie cage and kill Bilko. The metal cage

hit his head and Marjorie our maid fainted and now in comma with bed sores in

interesting places. This is a most shocking instalments of events and all from reading one

sick book.   

Understand, Mr. Hudspith, that Bilko was a puppy and Doris and Tompas are now sad,

providing me with silent house.

Husband is buying your other book Kimi’s Fear. He think reading it might shut me up too,

especially as he heard it is more icky than the first book.

Have you ever thought of writing something nice, Mr. Hudspith? You should try because

even old man can learn new dog tricks. May your soul be save.   Ivana.


Leave a comment


  1. gerrymccullough

     /  February 16, 2013

    Brilliant, John!

  2. Ted Anibal

     /  October 13, 2013

    So, John, what new dog tricks will you learn? Will Kathy Bates help you with the misery?
    I enjoyed the broken Russian English — memories of Boris and Natasha!

  3. Thanks, Ted.

  4. louisewise

     /  July 15, 2014

    Tell Ivana to buy a radio with HUGE speakers, that’ll sort out the silence. 😉

  1. From My Number One Fan… | Louise Wise

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